Here we go...AGAIN...for the FINAL time!

I can't tell you how many times I've started a blog this way. Saying "I'm going to do it, I'm going to lose weight, for me, blah blah blah". Well, this time I MEAN it. I've FINALLY pulled my head out of my ass and I'm actually EXCITED about what I've accomplished and what I WILL accomplish through my life change. For the last 6 months I've been literally "getting my head straight". What does that mean? That means I went to a therapist for about 3 months, I've been seeing a psychiatrist for the last 4 months, I was diagnosed with Major Depression and ADD. I've got the right meds, and for the first time in a LONG time, my head is on STRAIGHT. I've realized that my life is about ME. Me first. Without ME, what the hell else do I have? So I've put myself number one on my priority list.

On April 30, 2009 I joined the local YMCA. When I did it, I knew WHY I needed to. I needed to get healthy. I joined at a different branch that I had toured, because I was being cheap and I didn't want to pay the $10/month to park in the parking garage at my closer one. I went in, saw the child watch area, joined, walked out and instantly had regrets. I did NOT like the child watch in that Y. Mainly because I knew how it was at the other one, all open and just lots more for the kids to do. For the next week I sulked over my regrets and never went. A week after I joined I finally sucked it up and went. Only I went to the Y that I toured. I was familiar with that one, and just felt like Leah would be more comfortable there. So, I went, paid my $10 for my monthly parking pass, and left Leah in the child watch. Of course she cried. Of course I was worried, but I went and did 30 minutes on the treadmill. I thought I was going to die. I wanted to slowly ease Leah into going, so she was only in there for about 45 minutes. She only cried for a little bit. I was relieved. That was a Wednesday. I went again on Friday. Leah cried a LOT more this time, and I left her for a little while longer. That day I did about 35 or 40 minutes on the treadmill. It really wasn't that bad. I felt like "hey, I can do this" I made an appointment that day to learn how to use all the weight machines. I went to get Leah, and she was fine once she calmed down. She will be ok from now on. My appointment was on Mother's day to get set up with the FitQuest system. I LOVE that system. It so COOL. You just log in, start your workout, and VOILA, punch in your 5 digit code on each machine and right there is the settings for the seats and how much weight you need and the number of reps/sets you did on your previous workout. I learned 5 machines that day. The rest of that week I went 4 more times. M/W/Th/F. I felt GREAT. By the end of the week I was 45 minutes on the treadmill. I made another appointment to learn more machines. That appointment was Tuesday. That week (last week) I went and worked out EVERY DAY except for Thursday, because Erik had a drs appointment. I've worked my way up to 60 minutes of cardio a day, mostly on the elliptical and some other machine, I'm not sure what it is, but I call it a fancy gazelle LOL I'm seriously ADDICTED already to working out. I just LOVE the way I feel when I'm done. The sense of accomplishment, and the natural high you get from working out, nothing beats it. And NOTHING can bring my mood down after. Granted, it doesn't last more than an hour or so, but it's sooooooooooo worth it!!

On Tuesday, May 26, 2009 I begin the "Y-Change" program. It's a 6 week program that meets 3 times a week, an hour each time. One day is a meeting where you discuss nutrition and fitness and all that good stuff to get you on the right path to a healthy lifestyle. The other 2 days are working out with your small group. From what I was told, this is run by a personal trainer, so it's like 2 free personal training sessions a week!! I'm really excited about that starting. I'll definitely update on Tuesday how that goes. I will be heading over to the Y today and I'm officially starting the http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml (couch to 5K) program. I'm not really a fan of the treadmill, but intervel training is a GREAT way to help lose weight, I would love to be able to take a jog with my husband when he gets home. It's just another goal that I have. So, here it goes, here is my list of goals for all of you to see!!

• Lose 30lbs by August 31, 2009. That's EXACTLY 2lbs a week for 15 weeks from the date that I officially started logging my weight (May 18, 2009)
• 60 minutes of cardio at least 5 days a week
• Weights 3x a week
• daily caloric intake not to exceed 1800 calories (to be reduced by 50 calories every time I drop into a new weight range...ex from the x40's to the x30's)
• eat 3 meals and 2 snacks
• drink at least 96 ounces of water a day, NOT counting the water I drink while I'm working out (i just sweat that out anyway LOL)
• successfully finish the couch to 5K program by August 31, 2009
• QUIT SMOKING! (that requires a seperate blog)
• get at least 8 hours of sleep a night

I may add to this list as I think of more goals, but that's about it. I WILL be successful, and goal weight of 145lbs IS within my reach. By this time next year you will be reading about how I reached my goal and how I'm planning on going back to school to pursue a degree in nutrition and fitness!!!!! Yes, THAT is my long term goal. I already know THAT is what I am meant to do. I now know why I am overweight and a smoker. Because I have the STRENGTH to overcome it ON MY OWN and share with whoever I possibly can that they can do it, too.

That's about all for now!